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Blonde Jokes

November 24th, 2007

Three women are about to be executed for crimes they committed. One’s a brunette, one’s a redhead, and one’s a blonde.

Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, “Ready… Aim…” Suddenly the brunette yells, “Earthquake!” Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape.

The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, “Ready… Aim…” The redhead then screams, “Tornado!” Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution.

By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did and knew exactly what she needed to do. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She also says no, and the executioner shouts, “Ready… Aim…”

The blonde shouts, “Fire!”

Three chicks were stranded on an deserted island – a brunette, redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, “I’m going to try to swim to shore.” She swam out five miles and got really tired, by the time she made it ten miles she was too tired to go on, and she drowned.

The second chick, a redhead, said to herself, “I wonder if she made it. I guess it’s better to try to get to the mainland than to stay here and starve to death.” So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, and she drowned.

The blonde thought to herself, “I wonder if they made it! I think I’d better try to make it, too.” So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, 15 miles, nineteen miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, “I’m too tired to go on!” So she swam back.

A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The captain says they can’t just turn her away, and orders the desk officer to ask her a few questions as if doing an interview. To just ‘play along’ and humor her.

Not having any idea what to ask her to disqualify her application, the officer asks, “What’s 2+2?” “Ummm… 4!” the blonde says. Dang, the officer thinks, so tries a harder one: “What’s the square root of 100?” “Ummm… 10!” the blonde says.
“Good!” the officer says, deciding to switch from math to history. “OK, who killed Abraham Lincoln?” “Ummm… I don’t know,” she admits. “Well, you can go home and think about it,” he says, “and come back later and tell me what you’ve figured out.” He figures that’s the last he’ll see of her.

The blonde goes home and calls up one of her friends, who asks her if she got the job. “Not only did I get the job,” the blonde says, “but I’ve already been assigned to a murder case!”

via

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Filed under: Stories and Jokes
  • Tags: blondes , Humor , jokes |
  • 4 Comments |
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4 Responses to “Blonde Jokes”

  • Jessie Says: November 27th, 2007 at 10:00 pm

    I love Blonde Jokes
    Here is my fave

    3 Blondes are walking down the beach. One of them picks something out of the sand. She brushes it off and realizes it is a lamp and a genie comes out. The genie says “I usually grant three wishes, but since there are three of you I will grant you one wish a piece.”
    The genie turns to the first Blonde and says “What is your wish?”
    The first Blond replies “Well…Id kind of like to be a little smarter.”
    The Genie says “your wish is granted” snaps his fingers and poof she is a Redhead
    The genie turns to the second Blonde and says “”What is your wish?”
    The second Blonde replies “Well…I wanna be smarter than her!!!.” pointing to the first
    The Genie says “your wish is granted” snaps his fingers and poof she is a Brunette
    The genie turns to the third Blonde and says “”What is your wish?”
    The third Blonde replies ” Well….I kinda like being Blonde, no one expects much from me, they don’t make me do stuff, in fact I think I’d like be a little dumber.”
    The Genie says “your wish is granted” snaps his fingers and poof she is a Man

    he he he he
    I am not a man hater…I just love that joke

  • Sarah Says: February 2nd, 2008 at 8:39 pm

    Brunettes are way smarter than blondes blondes are just dumb

  • Sarah Says: February 2nd, 2008 at 8:42 pm

    Blonde Jokes are like sooooo funny cause brunettes are SMART!!!!!

  • matty Says: February 13th, 2008 at 10:13 pm

    there is a blonde lady, she goes into a shop and says can i buy that tv please, the man says sorry i dont sell to blondes.
    the next day she has dies her hair and goes into the shop and says can i buy that tv please and the man says sorry i dont sell to blondes.
    the next day she dies her hair again and goes into the shop nd says can i buy that tv please, the man says the same again. the women says ok i have died my hair 3 different colours now, how do you know i am blonde, the man says that is a microwave!

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