Don’t like your job?

This list of office pranks is sure to get any one fired.

If your boss keeps you after doing any of these, WHY DO YOU WANT TO QUIT.

1. Photocopy an entire dictionary and fax it to the CFO.

2. Schedule a series of important departmental meetings and forget to show up to them.

3. (Office Prank) Send blank sheets of paper via interoffice mail. (Marked “urgent” and “confidential”, of course.) Remember to send a few to the mailroom; they’ll especially get a kick out of it.

4. Anonymously post quotes from Adolph Hitler on a company bulletin board. (Quotes about “team spirit” can be particularly inspiring.)

5. Set a mouse free in the office each day. When the problem becomes an epidemic, send snakes after them.

6. Hide in the supply closet and scare people when they open the door.

7. Put a fake rubber hand in your sleeve, and when a secretary walks by, stick the hand in a paper shredder and scream.

8. Submit letters of resignation for other employees.

9. Conduct all correspondence with your friend in the same office via Federal Express early-morning next-day delivery.

10. Dial the phone number of the guy in the next cubicle whenever he walks away from his desk. Hang up before he can run back to answer it. Repeat often.

11. Send counterfeit memos from the company president, politely letting employees know that they’ve been fired and must clear out their offices and leave the building immediately.

12. Report rumors daily via the bathroom wall.

13. Pull a fire alarm while someone is in the bathroom.

14. Whenever a coworker makes a mistake, offer them the opportunity to “help you out” in exchange for you not reporting the mistake to their boss.

15. Sneak into the conference room before the next major meeting and place nametags in front of each of the seats. Assign black people to one side of the table and white people to the other.

16. Take a stack of resumes from the recruitment department and schedule some interviews for fictional, but high-paying, positions.

And finally:

17. Respond to every request by your boss with the phrase “I would prefer not to.”