* I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

* I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

* Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

* If I throw a stick, will you leave?

* Does your train of thought have a caboose?

* Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

* Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

* Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.

* See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.

* Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.

* A woman’s favorite position is CEO.

* I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.

* A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

* Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet.

* Can I trade this job for what’s behind door number 1?

* I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

* Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

* Macho Law prohibits me from admitting I’m wrong.

* Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

* Chaos, panic, & disorder – my work here is done.

* Never trust a dog to watch your food.

* Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.

* If At First You Don’t Succeed, Blame Someone Else And SeekCounseling.

* You’re Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me.