A couple is lying in bed. The man says, “I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world”
The woman says, “I’ll miss you.”
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“It’s just too hot to wear clothes today,” Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, “honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?” “Probably that I married you for your money,” she replied.
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He said – Since I first laid eyes on you, I’ve wanted to make love to you really badly. She said – Well, you succeeded.
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He said – Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said -That’s a good idea…you stand by the
ironing board while I sit on the sofa and watch TV.
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He said – What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you? She said – Turn sideways and look in the mirror.
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Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A fantasy
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My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, “This will make you happy tonight.” He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs.He couldn’t get back in.