Wal-Mart has Everything

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind
him,
‘My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I’d better see a doctor.’
‘Listen, you don’t have to spend that kind of money,’ Mike replies.
‘There’s a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just
give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what’s wrong
and what to do about it.

It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars .. . . A lot cheaper than
a Doctor.’
So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to
Wal-Mart.

He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for
the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

‘You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water
and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.

Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.’

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was,
Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.
He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog,
urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm
sample for good measure.

Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results.
He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the
results.

The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
(Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren’t yours. Get a solicitor.
5. If you don’t stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never
get better!

Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart


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Filed under: Stories and Jokes



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