This article was taken from Playboy and is written by Kelly Jones. Apologies to all our female readers out there, we will make it up to you again. For the guys, single and desperate ones especially, hope this helps.

From embracing the right mental outlook to letting your passions and posse do some of the work for you, it’s possible to turn dates into mates—especially when following the simple steps below.

Make it a priority
Sounds simple, huh? But really, most people treat dating so casually. Imagine if you looked for a job the way you look for a long-term relationship? “Oh, I’m just waiting for the right job to come along and sweep me off my feet.” You have to be focused and persistent to find the right person. If you’re aiming to find love, dating should be as much a priority as the other important things in your life, like going to the gym, seeing your friends or spending time with your kids.

Confidence is key
Dating is a mental game. Just like athletes who employ expensive coaches to work on their psychological game, you need to put efforts into perfecting your mental outlook. There’s nothing sexier than a guy with confidence.

Don ’t be prematurely picky
Many people who bemoan their lack of dating successes say things like, “I just can’t date a woman who isn’t into sports.” Don’t sweat the small stuff. Instead of writing off potential mates before they even have a chance to impress you, go on a date—or three. Sometimes you’ll know right away that something isn’t going to work out, but if there’s a possibility for something long term, take the risk. You never know what might happen.

Know what you want
It may seem contradictory with the advice above, but you also need to know what’s truly important to you for a long-term fix. Yes, you should put yourself out there and date, but make sure you know what you really want out of a woman. Concentrate on the big issues. Do you want children? How many? Love to travel? How do you want to spend your weekends? Are religious practices part of your life? Having questions like these in mind will allow you to pull the trigger—if necessary—before wasting too much time.

Spread the word
If no one knows about your desire for a meaningful, long-term relationship they really can’t help you. Maybe they figure you’re content with the way things are. So, tell your family, friends, co-workers, your fitness instructor. That new girlfriend could come from anywhere. Borrowing from the job metaphor, you wouldn’t send out one resume and then wait for the jobs to pour in.

Hit the right spots
Nightclubs aren’t the only place where singles hook up. People meet each other at work, libraries, health clubs, cafes, charitable organizations. And meeting someone who shares your passion rather than just your level of inebriation generally makes for a stronger long-term connection. Basically, use your hobbies and other passions to find your love.

Be happy
Don’t wear desperation like a dirty shirt. People spot it a mile away. Instead, embrace your single lifestyle. Spend time with friends, go out and do the things you love, celebrate the freedom that every day brings you. You’ll be happier while you wait for Ms. Perfect—and your happy life will make you more attractive to her.