Your Aunt Tootsie and her twin (between you and me the twin has been nothing but a pain in the backside since she joined that church of snake handlers down on 4th Street) will be thrilled that you remembered them. Mother is happy you enjoyed the cookies and promises that the next batch will have less sand.

Even though your wife has that unusual odor, its up to you as the man of the house to soldier on and keep trying. I’ve enclosed a coupon for some Lysol, I hope it helps you in the romance department.

Be well,

Guest

thanks for the note. I never liked Millie anyways (guess you knew that when I ran her down 3 times with my bike), so I am glad Fluff is still enjoying this sport. We have been trying for a new kid almost every night, but seems lately she has developed a strange smell down there, so I guess I’ll just be using the hand for a while.

Oh, and thank mom for the oatmeal cookies. They were a really warm welcome seeing we have nothing but Alpo in the house to eat, and they make great projectiles. Give our love to Aunt Toosie and her siamese twin for me, yes?

Love,
Son Of Guest

How have you been? Has your wife recovered from that sickness she had when your Mother and I visited last month? Your dear Mother worries about her health more than she needs to. I know the pregnancy was difficult for your bride and the loss of the baby from the shock of the roller coaster ride was a tragedy for you both but you come from a strong family and I know the two of you will get through the tears to see a brighter day.

Your dog Fluffers still gets the lice and sometimes hairballs. She is quite old now and almost blind but she enjoys chasing the neighbors children as much as ever. Just las week she caught ahold of little Millie Farmington and took a chunk out of her leg. It was the cutest thing, I only wish I’d had my camera with me at the time.

Send some recent photos of you and your wife Frances (or was it Susan?) when you have a chance.

Best Regards,

Guest