Not like you need more reason to laugh this Friday, but we can all sure use as much laughter as we can get in these gloom and doom times. These comics that have been collected over sometime should bring at least a smile if not a laugh, unless you are made of stone.
I wonder how many here are fans of the Simpsons series? If I’m not mistaken, they are the longest-running cartoon comedy series (or so I heard somewhere). Anyway, I think that they are pretty good and here are some of the best quotes from our beloved Homer.
1. Son, when you participate in sporting events, it’s not whether you win or lose: it’s how drunk you get.
2. Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you’d step over your own mother just to Home Simpsonget one! But you can’t stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!
3. What’s the point of going out? We’re just going to wind up back here anyway.
4. I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman.
5. Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs.
6. Books are useless! I only ever read one book, “To Kill A Mockingbird,” and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin… but what good does that do me?
7. I hope I didn’t brain my damage.
8. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals… except the weasel.
9. Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
Read the full story »
Don’t you just love seeing chicks in all types of tight and crazy costumes? Actually, don’t bother answering, just click on this.
SEXY NAUGHTY BARBIE GIRL DANCE
Guy and one HOT chicks dance hilariously and sexy at the same time to Barbie girl. Nice bod!
DANGEROUS SMELLY FEET
Careful that your smelly feet don’t kill innocent people around you.
BOY EATS WORLD’S HOTTEST PEPPER AND FREAKS!
I believe that his actions were well-warranted. Anybody care to try?
Look at the size of her guns, you wouldn’t want to mess with her… or would you?
A husband and wife decided they needed to use “code” to indicate that they wanted to have sex without letting their children in on it. They decided on the word Typewriter.
One day the husband told his five year old daughter, “Go tell your mommy that daddy needs to type a letter.”
The child told her mother what her dad said, and her mom responded, “Tell your daddy that he can’t type a letter right now because there is a red ribbon in the typewriter.” The child went back to tell her father what mommy said.
A few days later the mom told the daughter, “Tell daddy that he can type that letter now.”
The child told her father, returned to her mother and announced, “Daddy said never mind with the typewriter, he already wrote the letter by hand.”
Paris Hilton’s nipples tell you the weather (Celebridiot)
Random Retro Baseball Player: Pascual Perez (Sharapova’s Thigh)
Joe Torre’s tell-all book is already becoming a movie (Cuzoogle)
Can you find Waldo at Obama’s inauguration? (Brahsome)
MySpace Toolbox: Taking Steroids by Nick (Uncoached)
Get Fired Up: Flashback to Jock Jams Volume 1 (Ice Ice Babies)
Win Stuff with “The Beast” (Gunaxin)
Desperate and dateless rejoice! Your virtual 3D girlfriend is here (The Bachelor Guy)
Church has never been so much fun (Afrojacks)
Natasha Marley: Another Big Breast Brit Babe (MoonDog Sports)
Velcroed thongs and TV theme songs. It must be Dear Illuminati. (9 to Fried)
Alessandra Ambrosio esta bonita in a bikini (Observation Bubble)
Megan Fox playing Guitar Hero is sexy (Wii Hotties)
Some really nice photos that have double the goodness.
Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg
One day I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a ‘massive internal fart.’
Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI
I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning and while checking up on a woman I asked, ‘So how’s your breakfast this morning?’ It’s very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can’t seem to get used to the taste,’ the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled ‘KY Jelly.’
Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA
During a patient’s two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble withone of his medications. ‘Which one?’ I asked.’The patch. The Nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I’m running out of places to put it!’ I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn’t see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying anew one.
Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Francisco
A man comes into the ER and yells, ‘My wife’s going to have her babyin the cab!’ I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady’s dress, Read the full story »
Really nice and funny figurines painted out of the hands.
BOSS ALARM
See what happens to a company bar when the boss approaches.
LIFE SUCKS
Guy works hard at giving his sperm at a sperm bank. But he doesn’t know what goes on behind the closed door!
MAKING MUSIC WITH TIC TACS
Quite impressive if this is true.
Series of snapshots involving animals in various interesting and funny poses. Don’t overdose on cuteness now.
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