I thought that I had a great list previously, but guess human’s ability to be sarcastic knows no bounds and here are more great and caustic one-liners seen on bumper stickers.

· I like you, but I wouldn’t want to see you working with subatomic particles.

· I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die

· If you smoke after sex, you’re doing it too fast.

· Jesus is coming, everyone look busy.

· There’s too much blood in my alcohol system.

· I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

· Don’t take life too seriously, you won’t get out alive.

· WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

· You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

· BEER: It’s not just for breakfast anymore.

· So you’re a feminist…Isn’t that cute!

· I need someone really bad… are you really bad?

· Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

· Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

· To all you virgins, thanks for nothing.

· I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

· The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.

· My kid had sex with your honor student.

· Don’t hit me. My lawyer’s in jail.

· If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.

· Help wanted: Telepathy … you know where to apply.

· Hang up and drive.

· Lord save me from your followers.

· Guns don’t kill people, postal workers do.

· Born again pagan.

· God must love stupid people, he made so many.

· I said “no” to drugs, but they just wouldn’t listen.

· Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.

· Friends don’t let Friends drive Naked.

· Wink, I’ll do the rest!

· I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

· Ax me about Ebonics

· Body by Nautilus; brain by Mattel

· Boldly going nowhere

· CATS: The other white meat

· CAUTION – Driver legally blonde!

· Warning: I intentionally run over small, furry animals.

· Don’t be sexist – broads hate that

· Eat Well, Stay Fit, Die Anyway

· Heart Attacks…God’s Revenge for Eating His Animal Friends

· He’s not dead, He’s electroencephalographically challenged

· Honk if you’ve never seen an Uzi fired from a car window

· How many roads must a man travel down before he admits he is lost.

· I am Homer of Borg. Prepare to be assimi… Oooh! Donuts!

· If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, riddle them with bullets

· If you lived in your car, you’d be home by now

· I’m an imbecile and I vote

· WARNING! Driver only carries $20.00 in ammunition

· What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull

· CAUTION: I drive just like you!

· If You Don’t Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut.

· Impotence: Nature’s Way Of Saying “No Hard Feelings.”

· Practice Safe Sex. Go Screw Yourself.

· It’s Been Lovely, But I Have To Scream Now.

· “Please Tell Your Pants It’s Not Polite To Point.”

· Don’t Be Sexist – Broads Hate That.

· Saw It… Wanted It… Had A Fit… Got It!

· Constipated people don’t give a crap.

· If you drink, don’t park–accidents cause people.

· Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

· My kid got your honor roll student pregnant.

· To all you virgins: Thanks for nothing.

· If at first you don’t succeed…blame someone else and seek counseling.

· If you can read this, I’ve lost my trailer.

· You’re Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me.

· The Earth Is Full – Go Home.

· I Have The Body Of A God……Buddha.

· This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren’t Happening To Me.

· So Many Pedestrians – So Little Time.

· Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult.

· If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?

· The Face Is Familiar, But I Can’t Quite Remember My Name.

· I Haven’t Lost My Mind, It’s Backed Up On Disk Somewhere.

· If sex is a pain in the ass, then you’re doing it wrong…

· Fight Crime: Shoot Back!

· Necrophillia: That uncontrollable urge to crack open a cold one.

· Boldly going nowhere

· Honk if you’ve never seen an Uzi fired from a car window

· Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them

· WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

· 5 days a week my body is a temple. The other two, it’s an amusement park.

· Alcohol and calculus don’t mix. Never drink and derive.