Montana

* It is a felony for a wife to open her husband’s mail.
* It is a misdemeanor to show movies that depict acts of felonious crime.
* In Whitehall, it is illegal to operate a vehicle with ice picks attached to the wheels.

Nebraska

* It is illegal for a mother to give her daughter a perm without a state license.
* In Waterloo, barbers are forbidden from eating onions between 7am and 7pm.
* In Omaha, barbers are forbidden from shaving their customers’ chests.
* If a child burps during a church service in Omaha, his or her parents may be arrested.
* It is illegal for bar owners to sell beer unless they are simultaneously brewing a kettle of soup.

Nevada

* In Nyala, a man is forbidden from buying drinks for more than three people other than himself at any one period during the day.
* It is illegal to drive a camel on the highway.
* In Eureka, men who wear moustaches are forbidden from kissing women.
* Everyone walking on the streets of Elko is required to wear a mask.

New Hampshire

* It is illegal to sell the clothes one is wearing to pay off a gambling debt.
* It is illegal to check into a hotel under an assumed name.

New Jersey

* It is against the law to “frown” at a police officer.
* In Newark, it is illegal to sell ice cream after 6pm, unless the customer has a note from his doctor.
* It is illegal to slurp soup.
* In Trenton, it is illegal to throw a bad pickle in the street.

New Mexico

* In Raton, it is illegal for a woman to ride horseback down a public street with a kimono on.
* The Merriam-Webster Collegiate Dictionary is banned in Carlsbad.
* State officials ordered 400 words of “sexually explicit material” to be cut from Romeo and Juliet.

New York

* In New York City, it is illegal for a woman to be on the street wearing “body hugging clothing”.
* In New York City, it is illegal for a man to turn around and look “at a woman in that way,” and violators are forced to wear horse blinders.
* In Staten Island, it is illegal for a father to call his son a “faggot” or “queer” in an effort to curb “girlie behavior.”
* In New York City, “It is disorderly conduct for one man to greet another on the street by placing the end of his thumb against the tip of his nose, at the same time extending and wiggling the fingers of his hand.”

North Carolina

* In Charlotte, women must have their bodies covered by at least 16 yards of cloth at all times.
* In Ashville, it is illegal to sneeze on city streets.
* Ironically, Hornytown has banned all massage parlors.
* State law mandates that all couples staying in rooms for one night must be kept in room with double beds, kept a minimum of two feet apart, and making love on the floor between the beds is strictly forbidden.
* It is illegal to have sex in a churchyard.

North Dakota

* In Fargo, one may be jailed for wearing a hat while dancing, or even for wearing a hat to a function where dancing is taking place.
* It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.
* It is illegal to serve beer and pretzels at the same time in any bar, club, or restaurant.

Ohio

* In Cleveland, women are forbidden from wearing patent leather shoes, lest men see reflections of their underwear.
* In Columbus, it is illegal for stores to sell cornflakes on Sunday.
* In Oxford, it is illegal for a women to disrobe in front of a man’s picture.
* In Youngstown, it is illegal to run out of gas.
* Catch 22 is banned in Strongville.

Oklahoma

* People who make “ugly faces” at dogs may be fined and/or jailed.
* In Schulter, it is illegal for a woman to gamble in the nude, in lingerie, or while wearing a towel.

Oregon

* One may not bathe without wearing “suitable clothing,” i.e., that which covers one’s body from neck to knee.
* The town of Hood River prohibits the act of juggling without a license.
* Salem has barred women’s wrestling.
* In Marion, ministers are forbidden from eating garlic or onions before delivering a sermon.

Pennsylvania

* “Any motorist who sights a team of horses coming toward him must pull well off the road, cover his car with a blanket or canvas that blends with the countryside, and let the horses pass. If the horses appear skittish, the motorist must take his car apart, piece by piece, and hide it under the nearest bushes”.
* In Morrisville, women need a permit to wear cosmetics.
* Ministers are forbidden from performing marriages when either the bride or groom is drunk.

Rhode Island

* In Providence, it is illegal to sell toothpaste and a toothbrush to the same customer on a Sunday.
* It is illegal to throw pickle juice on a trolley.
* In Newport, it is illegal to smoke a pipe after sunset.

South Carolina

* Every citizen is obliged to carry his gun to church.
* No horses are allowed into Fountain Inn unless they are wearing pants.
* In Charleston, all carriage horses must wear diapers.

South Dakota

* It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory.
* Movies that show police officers being struck, beaten, or treated in an offensive manner are forbidden.

Tennessee

* It is illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish.
* In Dyersburg, it is illegal for a woman to call a man for a date.
* In Memphis restaurants, it is illegal to give any pie to fellow diners. It is also illegal to take unfinished pie home. All pie must be eaten on the premises.
* Also in Memphis, it is illegal for a woman to drive by herself; “a man must walk or run in front of the vehicle, waving a red flag in order to warn approaching pedestrians and motorists.”

Texas

* The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.
* A recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.
* In El Paso, churches, hotels, halls of assembly, stores, markets, banking rooms, railroad depots, and saloons are required to provide spittoons “of a kind and number to efficiently contain expectorations into them.”
* It is illegal to milk another person’s cow.
* In Houston, it is illegal to sell Limburger cheese on Sunday.
* In LeFors, it is illegal to take more than three swallows of beer while standing.
* In San Antonio, it is illegal for both sexes to flirt or respond to flirtation using the eyes and/or hands.
* In Mesquite, it is illegal for children to have unusual haircuts.

Utah

* Birds have the right of way on all highways.
* A husband is responsible for every criminal act committed by his wife while she is in his presence.
* In Monroe, daylight must be visible between partners on a dance floor.

Vermont

* Women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth.
* It is illegal to deny the existence of God.
* It is illegal to whistle underwater.

Virginia

* In Richmond, it is illegal to flip a coin in any eating establishment to determine who buys a cup of coffee.
* In Norfolk, a man may face 60 days in jail for patting a woman’s derriere.
* There is a state law prohibiting “corrupt practices of bribery by any person other than candidates.”
* In Lebanon, it is illegal to kick your wife out of bed.

Washington

* In Seattle, women who sit on men’s laps on buses or trains without placing a pillow between them face an automatic six-month jail term.
* In Auburn, men who deflower virgins, regardless of age or marital status, may face up to five years in jail.
* Seattle residents may not carry concealed weapons longer than six feet.
* It is illegal to pretend that one’s parents are rich.

West Virginia

* In Nicholas County, no clergy members may tell jokes or humorous stories from the pulpit during church services.
* Doctors and dentists may not place a woman under anesthesia unless a third person is present.
* It is illegal to snooze on a train.

Wisconsin

* In St. Croix, women are not allowed to wear anything red in public.
* It is illegal to cut a woman’s hair.
* It is illegal to kiss on a train.
* Cheese making requires a cheese maker’s license; Limburger cheese making requires a master cheese maker’s license.

Wyoming

* It is illegal to wear a hat that obstructs peoples’ view in a public theater or place of amusement.
* It is illegal for women to stand within five feet of a bar while drinking.