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New FDA Alcohol Warnings

April 27th, 2009
  • Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
  • Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a loser.
  • Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again.
  • Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.
  • Consumption of alcohol may convince you that your ex is really dying to hear from you at 4 am.
  • Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and/or name you can’t remember).
  • Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.
  • Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that you’re tougher than a really big guy named Kong.
  • Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.
  • Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
  • Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small… or large gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.
  • Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.
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Filed under: Stories and Jokes
  • Tags: Humor , jokes |
  • 2 Comments |
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2 Responses to “New FDA Alcohol Warnings”

  • Crazy Oldie Says: April 27th, 2009 at 4:11 pm

    haha…love it! it would be awesome to see these plastered on the sides of beer cases or kegs.

  • Pony Says: April 27th, 2009 at 10:17 pm

    The last one would scare the hell out of most people.

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