I voted Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whoever I want. I decided to marry my horse.
I voted Democrat because I believe oil companies’ profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 18% isn’t.
I voted Democrat because I’m not concerned about the slaughter of millions of babies so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.
I voted Democrat because freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.
I voted Democrat because I believe that people who can’t tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don’t start driving a Prius.
I voted Democrat because when we pull out of Iraq I trust that the bad guys will stop what they’re doing, because they now think we’re good people.
I voted Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.
I voted Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.
I voted Democrat because I’m way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.
I voted Democrat because my head is so firmly planted up my ass that it is unlikely that I’ll ever have another point of view.
A Liberal is a person who will give away everything they don’t own.” Ron, the Gregarious Hermit.
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This is perfect! Stupid liberals…..so open minded, their brains are falling out of their own heads.
I voted democrat because…evolution is as close to fact as we have. Gay men and women should have every right straight men and women do. Whether global warming exists or not, we should take care of our planet and not treat it like a giant garbage can. Not everyone should have the right to bare arms, just like not everyone has the right to be within 1000 ft of a school. If cheating on your wife is an impeachable offense, lying to congress and the American people in order to start a war sure as hell is too. I understand that the president is human and shouldn’t be followed blindly because of his status. But most importantly, I voted democrat because…I’m an intelligent human being who has seen the country he loves quickly deteriorate and go to hell over the past eight years.
Obviosly written by another FOX news or “noise” viewer who repeats every lie told on the network. They oppose everything, and tell lies about anything, that any democrat or as he labeled them, liberal, might propose. But they never once admit that for 8 years we had the worst president in th history of our country, and he is the main reason we are in the mess we are. Remember, he labeled himself a “compassionate conservative”. What an ass.
What I find interesting about this post is that it is most likely to offend the core audience of Funtasticus. Younger people are generally more liberal, and more likely to vote Democrat. Younger people are more likely to have the free time and the desire to look at the type of content featured on Funtasticus. (Let’s be honest, we don’t come to this site for news and political analysis.) I think the admins should have the right to post any content they wish, after all it’s their site. But it’s interesting that a free (ad-supported) site would choose to post content that could offend their primary audience.
Gee Whiz…a whole lot of boohoohoo’s over here. I’m pretty sure the fundamental difference between a real conservative (not W or 3/4 of those who claim to be republicans) and democrats is that conservatives wish to uphold the constitution as the founders intended and preserve powers to the people and state/local authorities, while democrats unanimously believe government is the answer. And Matt…I believe you are unclear on the definition of the word ‘RIGHT(S)’….as in ‘God given’. Besides gay men have the same rights straight men have…always have.
Hmmmm Funtasticus writer – why no little cute quip or quote at the beginning of this one? Frankly I’m disappointed in you, I thought you were so much better than this post. Oh well, live and learn. I’m pretty sure you read the comments so if you do, and this post is an accurate reflection of what you believe, then you my friend suck!
P.S. I heart you Chris, that’s why I voted and will continue to vote Democrat.
Did you know that American conservatives and the terrorist they fear are politically and ideologicaly the same?
Religious fundamentalists
Morally conservative
Politically conservative
Believe those who hold different beliefs to themselves are wrong
Believe they hold the only source of truth
Believe it is ok to declare war on those whith whom they disagree
I don’t get why there is so much animosity,. Seems to me that American Conservatives and terrorists should be teaming up against American Liberals. United against the common enemy – people who think independently of religious texts.
I vote democrat because I have a mind, a heart, and the courage to ask questions that must be asked.
Please
I voted Democrat because I believe torturing human beings – regardless of who they are or what they did – is immoral and un-American!
I voted Democratic because there wasn’t any other responsible choice. The modern-day GOP has become constitutionally radical, theocratic, xenophobic, financially irresponsible, unRepublican and frankly unAmerican, and utterly devoid of ideas, critical thought, or common sense.
How embarrassing. And it appears that Funtasticus believes in the GOP movement, too, even though if the GOP had its way, all such websites would be shut down for scandalous content. But that’s how clear the thinking is with the Rovian Right these days, I guess.
i voted for the democrats because every time republicans are left to do the right thing,well you know the rest. they will shriek at the top of their lungs at the very prospect of actually having to act upon the christian teachings that they shroud themselves in. the very idea of tolerance,charity and forgiveness is anathema to them. a very sad thing. the teachings of our lord Jesus Christ are only valued by them when they can be used to squash the rights of others or to whip the ill read masses into hysteria over matters that arent theirs to worry over. in a nutshell’ i voted for and will continue to vote for the democrats because i think ,i feel, and am in current possession of a soul.
I find it interesting that this stupid list created such a impulse for people to comment. Just so everyone knows this is just a silly list – not fact, not a personal opinion, not a statement of my beliefs – just a list. That is why it is filed under jokes…so don’t get upset.
I’ll add another.
I agree. Who’s benefit is this supposed to be for anyway? I think you’ve underestimated your audience… I understand that it’s supposed to be funny, but it’s just not. I’m not offended, just bored rereading tired old stereotypes blindly perpetuated by people who mostly don’t know anything about politics. Sub par.
I am not political and i’ll admit it…find that too many career politicians care more about voting down party lines than voting for what would be best for the people that voted them into office. As for the audience of the site – 60% non-American. The bulk of the site is male visitors that view cool pics/ot girls 20:1 over anything else posted on the site.
I had a response to this, but it appears that I can’t post it for whatever reason.
Let’s try this again:
So, let’s see. You’re not political, and most of your audience is not American. You post a partisan screed, likely to offend the winning side in an election year (unless you can explain how “the slaughter of millions of babies so long as we keep all death row inmates alive” could possibly be interpreted as a light-hearted jibe?), with no viable counterpoint, and now you’re going “Oh, I don’t really feel that way, it’s just a joke, ha-ha!”
If you had had a counterpoint in there, it might have worked; poking “fun” at both sides. Here. I’ll help you out a little.
* * *
I voted Republican because I believe in traditional marriage: buying her from her father, taking her away from home, and forcibly deflowering her in the presence of her mother to verify that she’s a virgin.
I voted Republican because I want the government to tell every citizen what kind of sex they can have with whom, because any form of sex that I don’t like is dirty and shouldn’t be indulged in except by my elected representatives.
I voted Republican because I believe that oil companies’ profits take precedence over such tiddling concerns as price-gouging, artificial shortages, consumer protection, damage to my car, and air pollution. After all, having to purchase a new car every three years, buying gasoline at $4/gallon every summer, and buying a ventilator in order to breathe is good for the economy.
I voted Republican because I don’t think paying down the national debt, which doubled under His Radiant Eminence Ronald Reagan, went up another 50% under His Proud Deputy George Herbert Walker Bush, and then MORE than doubled under The Most Holy George Walker Bush, while they made tax cuts that barely affected 94% of Americans, but saved the richest ones millions. God clearly wants our debt to spiral out of control under Republican presidents, which is why Obama’s projected 12% increase in the national debt is SO OFFENSIVE.
I voted Republican because I think the death penalty is an efficient way of taking care of criminals, especially the non-white ones, and allows our proud men in blue the free time to go bust those dirty pot-smoking hippies and those horrible pornographers rather than doing any work that might convict the right criminal.
I voted Republican because I think government has the right to punish girls who have dirty, dirty sex before marriage with the responsibility of a child, and the right to keep people in permanent vegetative states intubated even when they’ve clearly expressed the wish to be allowed to die. That’s just wrong—why would we want to allow someone control over their own lives when we know better what’s good for them?
I voted Republican because freedom of speech is fine as long as you support my politics, my religion, my elected officials, my hypocrisy, my wacky theories about where that uppity black man in the White House was born, my views on the environment, my disproportionate tax cuts. . . . Here’s a list of what you can say—enjoy!
I voted Republican because I think science is a useless and sinful pursuit. These “facts” that you speak of are clearly contradicted in the Bible. LA-LA-LA-LA-I-can’t-hear-you-LA-LA-LA-LA.
I voted Republican because I think all this needless environmentalism is just a fad. They say that there’s “global warming,” but my nipples were standing up yesterday, it was so cold. Besides, whatever happens is the will of God and of major corporate conglomerates, and they know better than everyone else, because they’re obviously successful.
I voted Republican because we should stay in Iraq and Afghanistan for the next fifty or a hundred years, because that will certainly teach them a lesson, and destroying their homelands and killing off their families will certainly quell any thought of taking vengence against us in OUR homeland. Heck, we’ve hardly lost even a hundred soldiers this year, that’s how peaceful things have gotten.
I voted Republican because armed invasion is so much easier than all that hard, brain-hurty diplomacy.
I voted Republican because I believe originalist judges need to rubber-stamp the obviously necessary constitutional amendments to strictly limit marriage to what I’m comfortable with, to give only Republican presidents wide-sweeping, dictatorial powers, and to give Republicans permanent control of Congress by removing the minority’s right to protest—but only if the minority isn’t Republican. Death to the filibuster, except when we want to use it!
I voted Republican because I believe the government will do a great job of spending my money as long as it’s on military expenditures, furthering a police state, and suppressing opposing opinion—and as long as we don’t have to pay it back.
I voted Republican because I’m too dumb to understand that a “Certificate of Live Birth” is equivalent to a “Birth Certificate,” yet I believe I should be allowed to buy anti-tank missiles in order to protect my toolshed.
I voted Republican because the party has finally thrown away all those pesky ideals. We hold the name, but no longer all those restrictive principles of what “Republican” is, while still claiming to be the party of Lincoln and Jefferson. Finally free of those unrealistic “states rights,” “financial responsibility,” “separation of church and state,” “driving out corruption,” and even “conservatism,” we are finally able to implement the totalitarian Christian debt-ridden invasive nation we’ve always dreamed of. And you’re going to like it, traitor.
“A neoconservative is a person who will take everything they don’t own, and then waterboard the original owners for having possessed it in the first place.” —Theo, the Thoughtful Republican
Tried again, but nope.
It started with this:
* * *
So, let’s see. You’re not political, and most of your audience is not American. You post a partisan screed, likely to offend the winning side in an election year (unless you can explain how “the slaughter of millions of babies so long as we keep all death row inmates alive” could possibly be interpreted as a light-hearted jibe?), with no viable counterpoint, and now you’re going “Oh, I don’t really feel that way, it’s just a joke, ha-ha!”
If you had had a counterpoint in there, it might have worked; poking “fun” at both sides. Here. I’ll help you out a little.
* * *
Whereupon I had a list of “I voted Republican because” responses. Alas.
You had a flagged word in your post p*r*ogrpahers – the first half of that will block a post to prevent spamming — actually I had a Republican joke going tonight but no need now since your comment will probably get more attention than the joke post for it.
As for politics I could care less about party lines — vote for the best person for the job and that is all that matters…the lines shift based on corporate donation, lobbyists, and which guys are fighting to keep their job and need party money to do so.
Then our views are actually similar, you and I. It’s just frustrating and embarrassing having to consistently vote for Democrats because they’re closer to Republican ideals than the GOP is these days.
LOL at all the cry babies on here it was a joke, Obama has acted pretty “stupidly” since he got elected. Here is Obama’s game plan: Have a problem, throw money at it. I don’t want a celebrity as my president, get off the TV Obama, and get to work.
Vote 3rd Party
Constitution Party
Bunch of freakin cry babies. Someone offended your sweet little “fad” of a president. Go suck a fat one, all of you who voted Democrat. If you can’t handle the statements made (joke or not), then get the hell out of my country. You whining little b!tches. It is people like you, who make this country less than what it used too be. It was a country every American was proud to call home, until whinning comments about how you were offended by someone comment. THEY ARE JUST WORDS!! Get over it!!
I don’t agree with all of them, but it doesn’t bother me to read them. That is what freedom of speech is. If they offend you then stop reading them. Simple.
Grow up and stop whining.
Ah, TheOnlyGonzo. You seem to forget that freedom of speech goes both ways; both statements and dissent qualify. If you can’t handle the responses, then you’re the one who really should leave the country. Go someplace where “freedom of speech” means “no dissent,” and where if you adhere to the party line, you can say anything you want without fear of anyone saying “Uh, that’s not all that funny.”
Honestly: You’re an idiot. Apparently it bothers you that some people expressed how they felt about the joke. If you can’t handle that, then you, sir, are the whiny little bitch with no thoughtful comprehension of what genuine freedom of speech is.
Did that response meet up with your belligerent standards?
And Si Vis Pacem: Wow, you certainly have me wriggling in the crushing grip of reason with that one. Shee.
On a genuinely personal note: I sure wish we could see less knee-jerk reaction out of people, and more thoughtful conversation. But then, I’ve been told that there aren’t any real people on the Internet.
Show me a young conservative and I’ll show you a man without a heart. Show me an old liberal and I’ll show you a man without a brain.