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Jokes of the Day

There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light. Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle

Jokes of the Day

Jenny was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was having a nap: “Tell me, Jenny, who created the universe?” She didn’t stir, so Mike, a boy in the chair behind her, quickly took a pencil and jabbed her in

Jokes of the Day

A couple of nights ago, I was out for a few drinks with some friends and had a few too many beers and then topped it off with a margarita. Not a good idea. Knowing full well I was at least slightly over the limit, I did something I’ve never done before: I took a

Jokes of the Day

I recall my first time with a condom, I must have been 16. I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy. There was this beautiful assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it. She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to

Jokes of the Day

Johnny sat in a circle with the rest of his new classmates on his first day of high school. Teacher: Now kids we’re going to play a game so we learn a bit about each other. We’re going to go around the circle and each person is going to tell me their name, favourite animal

Jokes of the Day

Husband takes the wife to a disco. There’s a guy on the dance floor giving it large – break dancing, moonwalking, back flips, the works. The wife turns to her husband and says: “See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down.” Husband says: “Looks like he’s still fucking

Jokes of the Day

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him out of $10,000,000. His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing so he would never have to testify in court. When the Godfather goes to confront Guido

Jokes of the Day

A man walks into a bar and orders a rum and coke Bartender: “Hold on” as he puts an apple on the bar Man: “What’s this?” Bartender: “Try it” Man: “It tastes like rum!” Bartender: “Turn it around.” Man: “This side tastes like coke!” Another man walks into the bar and asks for a gin

Jokes of the Day

During a party, a doctor is telling a lawyer that he is sick of his friends asking him for free medical advice. The lawyer says, “just do what I do, and leave a bill in their mailbox.” The doctor decides he’ll give that a try and thanks his lawyer friend. When the doctor gets home,

Jokes of the Day

Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, “I can make the boss give me the day off.” The man replies, “And how would you do that?” The woman says, “Just wait and see.” She then hangs upside down from the ceiling. The boss comes in and says, “What are you doing?” The woman replies,