A married woman was having a passionate affair with an inspector from a pest-control company. One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly. “Quick,” said the woman to her lover, “into the closet!” She pushed him into the closet stark naked. The husband, however, became suspicious and [...]

A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa. “The material we put into our stomachs are enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes [...]

A guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks “Hey, Buddy! how long before I can get a haircut?” The barber look around the shop and says “about 2 hours,” and the guy leaves. A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks…”how long before I can [...]

John O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife!” That won him the top prize for the best toast of the night. He went home and told his wife, Mary, “I won the prize for the best toast of the night.” She said, [...]

A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. “I’m sorry, sir, but I am blind and can’t read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer. I’ll smell it and order [...]

Gotta love those silly folks at work and at home that leave cute little notes on the fridge . Just makes me want to eat their stuff that much more.

An old but still ruggedly handsome Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation. “Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is [...]

A man walked into the bar at a hotel that was hosting a convention of personal hygiene product salesmen. He sat down at a table with some of his fellow salesmen. Immediately one of the other salesmen says to him: “Hey Bill! We were just talking about you. Your territory sucks! Nobody was ever able [...]

My neighbor found out her dog could hardly hear so she took it to the veterinarian. He found the problem was hair in its ears and cleaned both ears and the dog could hear fine. The veterinarian told the lady if she wanted to keep this from recurring, she could go to the store for [...]

One day an out of work mime was visiting the zoo, where he attempted to earn some money as a street performer. Unfortunately, as soon as he started to draw a crowd, a zoo keeper grabbed him and dragged him into his office. The zookeeper explained to the mime that the zoo’s most popular attraction, [...]

A man and his wife are returning from holiday, while on holiday they decided to buy themselves some pets, he bought a snake while the woman got a skunk. As they are passing through airport control they notice a sign which says “NO ANIMALS WILL BE ALLOWED THROUGH QUARANTINE” Slightly distressed the woman turns to [...]

God called down to Adam, “My child, I have noticed you are lonely down there, so I want you to meet someone. Come and see, I call her woman, her name is Eve…” Adam came to see her, he then returned to speak with God, hardly able to contain his excitement,”Oh, father, she is so [...]