Honey,” said this husband to his wife,”I invited a friend home for supper.” “What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I didn’t go shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don’t feel like cooking a fancy meal!” “I know all that.” replied the nonchalant husband. “Then why on Earth did you invite
Nothing like a bad date made glorious by a write sitting next to you and sharing it with the world. Wonder if they ever saw this? The write would think it is another demon he has to write about I bet.
There was a man who had worked all of his life and has saved all of his money. He was a real cheapskate when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife: “Now listen, when I die I want you
A man is flying in a hot-air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man below. He lowers the balloon farther and shouts, “Excuse me! Can you tell me where I am?” The man below says: “Yes, you’re in a hot-air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field.” “You must
A policeman searched me in a nightclub toilet last night and found a small bag of class A drugs. “It’s not my fault,” I said, “every time I try flushing them down the toilet they magically appear back in my pocket again.” “Do you really expect me to believe that?” he laughed. I said, “I
A guy walks into a bar with a box. He sits down and starts ordering several drinks. “What’s in the box?” Asks the bartender “Ugh, just get me another drink…? Grumbles the man. Bartender says “show me what’s in the box and the next ones on the house.” The man nods places the box on
An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, “I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.” “Pop, what are you talking about?” the son screams. “We can’t stand the sight of each other