Funtasticus.com Humor & Fun Blog » Humor

What Am i?

Pony — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 12:15:11 +0000

This thing runs but cannot walk, sometimes sings but never talks.
Lacks arms, has hands; lacks a head but has a face.
What is it?

A Clock

Highest Point

Pony — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 12:00:05 +0000

Before Mount Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain on earth?

Although not yet discovered, Mount Everest was still the highest mountain on earth

Riddle of the Day: No Brother

Pony — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 11:30:55 +0000

A champion weight lifter has a brother that’s a doctor, but the same doctor doesn’t have a brother. How are they related then?
Answer on the next page…

The champion weight lifter was a woman.

Top 10 Reasons You Can’t Find A Job

Pony — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 12:00:34 +0000

The job market sucks right now and for some finding a job has proven next to impossible when following all the rules. However, for some they like to push the envelope to stand out when going up for a new position. Maybe they should rethink some of their methods.

10. Instead of shaking hands, you ask them to “pull your finger.” Some people can’t take a joke!

9. You’re not willing to risk being downsized, since you’re unsure if they’re referring to your penis.

8. In your zealousness to pad your resume, you claim 10 years of Java and 15 years of HTML. But what do they know, they still use Windows?

7. After your interview tantrums, so-called “Equal Opportunity Employers” don’t seem to be buying your “Tourette’s Syndrome” excuse.

6. Small-minded employers find “alien abductions” unacceptable explanation for gaps in work history.

5. You can’t afford shoes – Jesus only worse sandals!

4. “Slashed co-workers with a broken coffee mug” doesn’t look as impressive on your resume as you thought it would.

3. Too much time during your interview spent discussing your jihad, not enough on how you would perform as the new personnel counselor.

2. You show up at each interview wearing an aluminum foil suit “just in case of enemy attack.”

1. You list “smokin weed” as a hobby on the job application and offer to start group session to help the company relax at lunch.

Naming the babies

Pony — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 11:30:11 +0000

A pregnant woman from Washington, D.C. gets in a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly six months, when she wakes up she sees that she is no longer pregnant and frantically asks the doctor about her baby.

The doctor replies, “Ma’am you had twins! A boy and a girl. Your brother from Maryland came in and named them.”

The woman thinks to herself, “No, not my brother… he’s an idiot!”

She asks the doctor, “Well, what’s the girl’s name?”

“Denise.”

“Wow, that’s not a bad name, I like it! What’s the boy’s name?”

“Denephew.”

A Drunk Confesses

Pony — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 11:45:24 +0000

After a heavy night of drinking at the local bar, a drunk stumbles into a Catholic church and slowly makes his way into the confessional booth. There, the priest patiently awaits the man to begin his confession.

After a few minutes of silence, the priest politely taps on the window… nothing. The priest taps again and this time clears his throat a bit… still nothing. At this point the priest begins to lose his patience and bangs on the window.

Finally the dunk yells out… “Ain’t no use knocking, there ain’t no paper over here either!”

Hold My Drink

Pony — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 03:59:59 +0000

I just took a cold beer out of the fridge and was thinking what would make it easier would be to have a cup holder on my desk. That way I educe the chance of spillage and I don’t get any condensation on my papers. After that I thought what would be even better would be to have a hot girl in a bikini with nice boobs to hold my beer for me. I would have a beer, the game on, a hottie, and a boob cup holder — doesn’t get much better than that!

Pen Mercedes….not impressing the ladies

Pony — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 12:00:01 +0000

You know some ladies out there are impressed by a guy driving a high priced foreign car. Well I am not sure they would be getting all revved up if you tell them you cruise around down in a Mercedes and you pull up in this bad boy. This Mercedes is covered in thousands of colorful pens and markers that show some serious need for a new hobby. Check out some more of Pen Guy work.

Interesting Wedding Photos

Pony — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 12:15:56 +0000

Every little girl dreams of the day that she will be a princess walking down the aisle to marry her prince. They plan, practice, dream and in the end it never seems to work out that way. These images show you just off off track that special day can go when you combine alcohol, drugs, and idiots.

Who sad Goth looks weird?

Pony — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 12:15:39 +0000

Everyone knew that one or two kids in high school that stuck to themselves and wore nothing but black. They wanted to be loners and stand out,,,didn’t want to fit into he norm. Well lucky for them there are so many other like that and as they got older they were able to be different with a bunch of people just like them. Of course wouldn’t that be like being normal within your group and just once again fitting in which is what you were trying to avoid in the first place?? So confusing.