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Humor Archive

Tough Wish

A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a Genie’s lamp. She picked it up and rubbed it, and lo-and-behold a Genie appeared. The amazed woman asked if she was going to receive the usual three wishes. The Genie said, “Nope … due to inflation, constant downsizing, low wages in third-world countries,

Wishes

There once was a bear and a rabbit and they hated each other. The bear and rabbit then stumbled upon a magical talking tree. The tree said: “I will grant you 3 wishes a piece if you will stop fighting!” So the bear went first. “I wish all the bears in the forest are females.”

Frog Prince

Once upon a time, a beautiful princess happened upon a frog in a pond. The frog said to the princess, “I was once a handsome prince until an evil witch put a spell on me. One kiss from you and I will turn back into a prince and then we can marry, move into the

Lawyers

A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer’s club by mistake. The old legal lions gave them a fight for their life and their money. The gang was very happy to escape. “It ain’t so bad,” one crook noted. “We got $25 between us.”

Nicknames

Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their love lives. One woman said: “I call my husband the dentist. Nobody can drill like he does.” The second woman giggled and confessed: “I call my husband the miner because of his incredible shaft.” The third woman quietly sipped her whiskey

Powerful Drugs

There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said: “You’re beautiful!” and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later

Rules are Rules

Tom addressed the ball and took a magnificent swing but somehow, something went wrong and a horrible slice resulted. The ball went onto the adjoining fairway and hit a man full force. He dropped! Tom and his partner ran up to the stricken victim who lay, quite unconscious, with the ball between his feet. “Good

Strong Man

A guy walks into a bar and demands to know “Who’s the strongest in here?” The toughest guy looks at him and says “I am the strongest around here!”

Women are slick

A woman finds a genie’s lamp. The Genie comes out and says, “You may have three wishes, but your husband will get ten times more than what you wished for.” The woman agrees. Her first wish was that she would be the most beautiful woman in the world. “You realize,” the Genie said, “that your

Government 101

Son: “Daddy, I have to write a special report for school, but I don’t know what Politics is.” Father: “Well, let’s take our home as an example. I am the bread-winner, so let’s call me Capitalism. Your Mum is the administrator of money, so we’ll call her Government. We take care of your need, so

Golf Anyone?

Two guys are playing golf. The women in front of them are really taking their time and are slowing the men up. So one man says to his friend, “I’m gonna go ask those ladies if we can play through.” He starts walking, but about halfway there, he turns around. When he gets back, his