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Lawyers

A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer’s club by mistake. The old legal lions gave them a fight for their life and their money. The gang was very happy to escape. “It ain’t so bad,” one crook noted. “We got $25 between us.”

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Comedy of John Mulaney

John Mulaney 1_0
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Nicknames

Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their love lives. One woman said: “I call my husband the dentist. Nobody can drill like he does.” The second woman giggled and confessed: “I call my husband the miner because of his incredible shaft.” The third woman quietly sipped her whiskey […]

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Powerful Drugs

There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said: “You’re beautiful!” and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later […]

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Rules are Rules

Tom addressed the ball and took a magnificent swing but somehow, something went wrong and a horrible slice resulted. The ball went onto the adjoining fairway and hit a man full force. He dropped! Tom and his partner ran up to the stricken victim who lay, quite unconscious, with the ball between his feet. “Good […]

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Strong Man

A guy walks into a bar and demands to know “Who’s the strongest in here?” The toughest guy looks at him and says “I am the strongest around here!”

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Women are slick

A woman finds a genie’s lamp. The Genie comes out and says, “You may have three wishes, but your husband will get ten times more than what you wished for.” The woman agrees. Her first wish was that she would be the most beautiful woman in the world. “You realize,” the Genie said, “that your […]

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Government 101

Son: “Daddy, I have to write a special report for school, but I don’t know what Politics is.” Father: “Well, let’s take our home as an example. I am the bread-winner, so let’s call me Capitalism. Your Mum is the administrator of money, so we’ll call her Government. We take care of your need, so […]

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Golf Anyone?

Two guys are playing golf. The women in front of them are really taking their time and are slowing the men up. So one man says to his friend, “I’m gonna go ask those ladies if we can play through.” He starts walking, but about halfway there, he turns around. When he gets back, his […]

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Must be new math

Little Johnny was busy doing his homework. As his mother approached she heard him say: “One and one, the son-of-a-bitch is two.” “Two and two, the son-of-a-bitch is four.” “Three and three” His mother interrupted, asking where he had learned this way of doing math. Little Johnny remarked that his teacher Ms. Margo taught him. […]

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Easy Money

In a train compartment, there are 3 men and a ravishing young girl. The four passengers join in conversation, which very soon turns to the erotic. Then, the young girl proposes, “If each of you will give me $1.00, I will show you my legs.” The men, charmed by this young girl, all pull a […]

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Perfect Shot

A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity, looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. He was driving his partner nuts. Finally his exasperated partner says, “What’s taking so long? Hit the blasted ball!” The guy answers, “My wife is up there watching me from […]

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Funtastically Random Stuff