A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, “OK old fart, time for you to retire.” The old rooster replies, “Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these chickens. Look what it has done [...]

* I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in. * I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes. * I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, [...]

You Know You’re Getting Older When… You and your teeth don’t sleep together. Your try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren’t wearing any. At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you’re not eating cereal. Your back goes out, but you stay home. You wake up looking [...]