Apparently real-life announcements made by witty and humorous flight crew to liven up the situations in flight. Too bad I never came across any of them. Anyone encountered one?

1. A flight Attendant’s comment on a less than perfect landing:
   “We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal.”
2. Another flight Attendant after a particularly bumpy flight:
   “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seatbelts fastened while the Captain taxis what’s left of our airplane to the gate!”
3. “As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.”

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