I thought that I had a great list previously, but guess human’s ability to be sarcastic knows no bounds and here are more great and caustic one-liners seen on bumper stickers.

· I like you, but I wouldn’t want to see you working with subatomic particles.

· I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die

· If you smoke after sex, you’re doing it too fast.

· Jesus is coming, everyone look busy.

· There’s too much blood in my alcohol system.

· I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

· Don’t take life too seriously, you won’t get out alive.

· WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

· You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

· BEER: It’s not just for breakfast anymore.

· So you’re a feminist…Isn’t that cute!

· I need someone really bad… are you really bad?

· Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

· Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

· To all you virgins, thanks for nothing.
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You might have seen a couple of these driving around, but bet there are many that you have not seen before. Here is a nice collection of bumper stickers produced.

· My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her…or something like that.

· Keep honking while I reload.

· If we are what we eat; I’m cheap, fast, and easy.

· Bad Cop! No Donut!

· Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

· It’s lonely at the top, but you eat better

· I love cats … they taste just like chicken.

· I get enough exercise just pushing my luck

· Sorry, I don’t date outside my species

· Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

· Cover me. I’m changing lanes.

· As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

· Happiness is a belt-fed weapon.

· Laugh alone and the world thinks you’re an idiot.

· Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep.
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