I’m not saying I know more about staying try than the next guy, but maybe put your feet up on the table or something.

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You rarely end up with a person just like you…they say opposites attract and it seems to hold true in these cases.

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You know you are in for a long week when your wake up face down outside your house.

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Would this make you nervous?

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If you have at least $5 million and are in or are willing to move to California one of these can be yours.  these modern mansions are located in the Hills over Hollywood and offer you everything a filthy rich home owner can want.  Well except for the possible landslides and wild fires, but you can afford insurance right?

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You ever get yourself some new clothes, a new rockin’ chain, some fly new glasses, a fresh hair cut, and think you are looking hot?  Well take a picture of yourself and if you look like this poor bastard destroy the picture and go pretend you are Robert Pattinson in some teen chat room.

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I think this would be a cool job.  Get brand new cars from low end to high end and destroy them!  You could take out some much frustration every day by crashing shiny new things into an immovable object.  You see your car here?? If so how does it look?

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Barney’s alcohol problem causes more problems when when he forgets he left the midget hooker back in the hotel and he is now just entertaining some kids.

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You ever get the feeling that no matter how hard you bust your ass you just don’t see any results?

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Nothing like a day out with the kids to see some fighter jets do some cool aerial maneuvers.  Of course not forcing your child to the edge of the aircraft carrier might be a good idea.  Imagine going home to the wife and explaining how you lost little Timmy off the side of the Intrepid.

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It’s always the same story when you get arrested for public urination.  officer I’m telling you I went to use the bathroom, but they were all underwater.  Why would I lie to you about that?  OK fine I am just too drunk to read the signs for the bathroom so I thought who am I hurting …dogs pee on the street all the time!  OK next time I won’t piss on a cop car while you are sitting inside..good advice.

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Is it just me or are there a lot of the same thing in these pictures?  If there is only one thing I need to lay off the late night scotch and crack  before bed.

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