After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.

I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, ‘Unbutton your shirt’.

So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, ‘That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me’ and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, ‘You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too’.

And then the fight started…

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My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
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Typical macho man married a typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules: “I’ll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want-and I don’t expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won’t be home for dinner. I’ll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don’t you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?”

His new bride said, “No, that’s fine with me. Just understand that sex starts only at seven o’clock, not any later.”

These pictures were taken before Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were officially a couple. Brad Pitt collaborates with photographer Steven Klein to portray what marital bliss is supposed to look like. Pity it is probably not what most Hollywood couples turn out to be.

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She was standing in the kitchen preparing to poach eggs for breakfast, wearing only the ‘T’ shirt that she normally slept in. As I walked in almost awake, she turned and said softly, ‘You’ve got to make love to me this very moment.’ My eyes lit up and I thought, ‘I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day.’

Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table. Afterwards she said, ‘Thanks,’ and returned to the stove, her ‘T’ shirt still around her neck.
A little puzzled, I asked, ‘What was that all about?’ she explained, ‘The 3 minute egg timer is broken.

I am certainly not against marriage but there are just too many hilarious comics on marriage not to share with everyone here. Most of them are probably based on true experience unfortunately but marriage is still a good thing!

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Some nice pictures of hot couples all over each other.

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Everything that is funny about marriage can be found here.

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