Yes, it’s that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.

Here is the glorious winner:

1.

When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California , would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

And now, the honorable mentions:

2.

The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and, after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef’s claim was approved.

3.

A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

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For those sheltered few of you who are not fully aware of the Darwin Awards, the awards are given annually (and posthumously)
to those individuals who did the most for the human gene pool by
removing themselves from it.

DARWIN AWARD RUNNERS-UP:

#1 – LOS ANGELES, CA. Ani Saduki, 33, and his brother decided to
remove a bees’ nest from a shed on their property with the aid of a
pineapple. A pineapple is an illegal firecracker which is the explosive
equivalent of one-half stick of dynamite. They ignited the fuse and
retreated to watch from inside their home, behind a window some 10 feet
away from the hive/shed. The concussion of the explosion shattered
the window inwards, seriously lacerating Ani. Deciding Mr. Saduki
needed stitches, the brothers headed out to go to a nearby hospital.
While walking towards their car, Ani was stung three times by the
surviving bees. Unbeknownst to either brother, Ani was allergic to bee
venom, and died of suffocation en-route to the hospital.

#2 – Derrick L. Richards, 28, was charged in April in Minneapolis with
third-degree murder in the death of his beloved cousin, Kenneth E.
Richards. According to police, Derrick suggested a game of Russian
roulette and put a semiautomatic pistol (instead of the more traditional
revolver) to Ken’s head and fired.

#3 – PHILLIPSBURG, NJ. An unidentified 29 year old male choked to
death on a sequined pastie he had orally removed from an exotic dancer
at a local establishment. “I didn’t think he was going to eat it,” the
dancer identified only as “Ginger” said, adding “He was really drunk.”

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