A college student picked up his date at her parent’s home. He’d scraped together every cent he had to take her to a fancy restaurant.

To his dismay, she ordered almost everything expensive on the menu. Appetisers, lobster, champagne . . .the works.
Finally he asked her, “Does your Mother feed you like this at home?”

“No,” she said, “but my Mother’s not looking to get laid.”

A boy and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town, doing what boys and girls do on back roads some distance from town.

Things were getting hot and heavy when the girl stopped the boy.

“I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I’m actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex,” she said.

The boy just looked at her for a couple of seconds, but then reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing.

After the cigarette, the boy just sat in the driver’s seat looking out the window. “Why aren’t we going anywhere?” asked the girl.

“Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I’m actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25.”

This really interesting article from Askmen.com, written by Chris Illuminati.

You are new to the neighborhood. Friendly new faces have stopped by to say hello or have thrown a nod and wave in your direction. You feel right at home in your new digs. No one has made you feel more welcome than the attractive and single woman next door. She appears to have everything you are looking for in a mate.

Asking out your neighbor couldn’t possibly be a bad idea… could it? Be warned. Even though she is cute, available and in close proximity, it doesn’t mean you should be stopping by to ask her for a cup of her sugar. Just like you shouldn’t dip your pen in the company ink, hitting on a neighbor could prove to be a worse idea than deciding to paint the whole house with just a brush and a kitchen chair.

Things can — and probably will — go wrong, and you could end up with more drama on your hands than you’d planned. Even though it’s been a sexual fantasy since the 7th grade, here are some reasons why you shouldn’t hit on your neighbor.

If she rejects you…

Every encounter thereafter will be awkward
Suppose you are reading her signals wrong — maybe she’s just being nice because you share the same sidewalks and she feels safe knowing a guy-friend is around in case of an emergency. You ask her out, she says no and now you have to deal with the uncomfortable exchanges every time you run into each other at the mailboxes or bump into each other at the corner bagel shop. Rejection will have you running from the car to the front door every day to avoid the unpleasant exchanges. Unless you reside in a war zone, this isn’t the best way to live your life, and this is precisely why you shouldn’t hit on your neighbor.

It will jeopardize your chances with other women in the neighborhood
Men make this common mistake in college, at work and in a ton of other situations — they take hunt, aim and fire at the first animal they see when they should wait back in the woods for bigger game. Have you met all your other neighbors? Did you take some time to learn who is who, or better yet, who is doing who? Suppose the object of your attention is the neighbor-hoe who has already schtuped half the block? Do some homework. Find a chatty Cathy who keeps up with every Jones in the neighborhood and is willing to dish the dirt without asking you to divulge too much personal information about your own situation.

You will have made a bad first impression
Whether you want the attention or not, the ladies of the Mahjong club and the guys who do nothing but brag about their tools (the ones in the garage) will make your innocent courting of the cute, single neighbor the hot neighborhood gossip. It’s not because they care about your personal life, but because they really have nothing better to talk about when they take the kids to the bus stop. Do you really want to paint yourself as the neighborhood gigolo after only a few weeks? Of course, that could be the reason you had to move in the first place. All this unnecessary attention isn’t the best way to make new friends. Fly below the radar at least for the first few months.

If she accepts you…

She will have moved in right away
Things go well at first, time goes by and the next thing you know, she is squatting in your house, drinking the last Red Bull and Read the full story »

WHAT NOT TO DO/SAY ON A DATE – This guy is a walking dating disaster.

FUNNY INTERNSHIP INTERVIEW – Crazy guy applies to be an unpaid intern in the company in already works for. And his interviewer is his colleague whom he has named as a reference. Doesn’t make sense? Yeah.

BULLDOZER STUNTS – We have seen bicycle stunts and skateboarding stunts. But bulldozer stunts??

AIRLINE WITH AN ATTITUDE -- Ridiculously hilariously airline ad spoof.

HOW TO DETERMINE IF YOUR DATE IS WORTH KEEPING -- Apply your wine appreciation skills!

CAREFUL WHEN YOU FART IN YOUR CUBICLE -- Funny animation about a guy who farts incessantly in his cubicle.

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have dinner with her parents.

Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time. The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms.

He tells the pharmacist it’s his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he’d like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl’s parents house and his girlfriend meets him at the door.

“Oh, I’m so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!” she says.

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl’s parents are already seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.

10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
Read the full story »

WHAT NOT TO DO WHEN MEETING HER PARENTS – By Playboy bunnies. Need I say more?

ONE MAN NERD BAND SINGING FINAL COUNTDOWN – Definitely not the best sounding version of ‘Final Countdown’ but somehow it has that magnetic draw to make you want to finish watching.

FUNNY HOME VIDEOS COLLECTION

“Emily, I don’t know what to do,” Gloria said to her friend at work. “That good-looking Bill in accounting asked me out for Saturday night. Should I go?”
“Oh, my God, “her friend exclaimed. “He’ll wine you, dine you and then use any ruse to get you to his apartment. Then he’ll rip off your dress and you’ll have fantastic sex.”
“Well, what should I do?” she asked. “Wear an Old dress.”

This article was taken from Playboy and is written by Kelly Jones. Apologies to all our female readers out there, we will make it up to you again. For the guys, single and desperate ones especially, hope this helps.

From embracing the right mental outlook to letting your passions and posse do some of the work for you, it’s possible to turn dates into mates—especially when following the simple steps below.

Make it a priority
Sounds simple, huh? But really, most people treat dating so casually. Imagine if you looked for a job the way you look for a long-term relationship? “Oh, I’m just waiting for the right job to come along and sweep me off my feet.” You have to be focused and persistent to find the right person. If you’re aiming to find love, dating should be as much a priority as the other important things in your life, like going to the gym, seeing your friends or spending time with your kids.

Confidence is key
Dating is a mental game. Just like athletes who employ expensive coaches to work on their psychological game, you need to put efforts into perfecting your mental outlook. There’s nothing sexier than a guy with confidence.
Read the full story »

Another article taken from Playboy and written by Shawn Conner. Thought it was quite interesting to know that apart from the bar that you frequent so often that all the chicks have already rejected you…. at least once already, there are alternatives!

Guys, it’s time to consider some alternatives when you’re looking for the right place to meet the future Mrs. For starters, forget nightclubs. Those are for amateurs. Women go because they know guys will hit on them, and they’re prepared for that. They’re with their girlfriends; they see you coming; they’ve heard it all. Bars are better, but you have to consider all the distractions — loud music, other guys, the fresh popcorn machine. Instead, think about other places, maybe even everyday places that would be conducive to spontaneous, friendly conversation, light interaction and possibly gentle flirtation.

Consider any romantic comedy you’ve ever seen. How many of the couples have met at a nightclub? (Yes, we remember Knocked Up, but we all know what happened there.) And who are romantic comedies aimed at? David Wygant, the dating expert who inspired the movie Hitch, points out: “Women want to be the stars of their own romantic comedy.” Translation: Women want to meet guys outside of the usual haunts.
Read the full story »

Tips on when it’s safe to go all in and when it’s best to fold. By Lena Katz.

Love is a many-splendored thing. A song your heart sings. And, rosy Hallmark-card clichés aside, it’s a total gamble.

You don’t ever know how it’s going to turn out: You could win your heart’s desire, or wind up broke, alone and kicking yourself for playing in the first place.

If love is a gamble, then it follows that dating is a game. It requires lots of skills, it has a million nuances and the stakes can get sky-high. You play with your head as well as your heart. Come to think of it, it’s a lot like high-stakes poker. And many of the rules of poker can apply.

With input from a couple of female poker pros, we’ve compiled some ground rules to keep in mind when you’re across the table from the next potential Ms. Right.
Read the full story »

Most of you must have read some of these at one point or another or even tried using them. No harm for a nice refresher this Friday to get you all set for the weekend right?

1. Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plant you right here!

2. Roses are red, violets are blue, I like spaghetti, let’s go screw

3. Just call me milk, I’ll do your body good

4. Your body’s name must be visa, because it’s everywhere I want to be

5. Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?
Read the full story »