STAGES OF DEATH EXPLAINED WITH HUMOR
The perfect solution for parents who want to explain to their kids the various stages of death. How about using an animated giraffe stuck in quicksand?

DANCING BOOBS
Boobs that jiggle along with nursery rhymes!

COMING OF AGE – HOW TO KISS A GIRL
Another funny short clip by BBC on a guy teaching another guy how to kiss a girl. Yup, you will want to watch this.

When John found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. So one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.

“I may look like just an ordinary man,” he said as he walked up to her “but in just a week or two, my father will die, and I’ll inherit 20 million dollars.”

Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening and, three days later, she became his stepmother.

One day in the future, George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him.

“I don’t know what to do,” says the devil. “You are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I’ll tell you what I’m going to do. I’ve got some folks here who weren’t quite as bad as you. I’ll let one of them go, but you have to take their place.

I’ll even let YOU decide who leaves.” Bush thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the first room.

In it was Ronald Reagan and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed. Over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell. “No, George said. “I don’t think so. I’m not a good swimmer and I don’t think I could do that all day long.”
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For some people when they go, they just got to go in style and that’s what these strange coffins are meant for. Seriously, I couldn’t care less how they package me as it’s not gonna change a thing.

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An old man was on his death bed, and wanted to be buried with his money. He called his priest, his doctor and his lawyer to his bedside. “Here’s $30,000 cash to be held by each of you. I trust you to put this in my coffin when I die so I can take all my money with me.”

At the funeral, each man put an envelope in the coffin. Riding away in a limousine, the priest suddenly broke into tears and confessed, “I only put $20,000 into the envelope because I needed $10,000 to repair the roof of the church.”

“Well, since we’re confiding in each other,” said the doctor, “I only put $10,000 in the envelope because we needed a new X-ray machine for the pediatrics ward at the hospital which cost $20,000.”

The lawyer was aghast. “I’m ashamed of both of you,” he exclaimed. “I want it known that when I put my envelope in that coffin, I enclosed a check for the full $30,000.”

A Frenchman, an Englishman and a New Yorker were exploring the jungle and were captured by a fierce tribe. As they sit in a hut, awaiting their fate, the chief comes to them and says, “The bad news is that now that we’ve caught you, we’re going to kill you, and then use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you get to choose how you die.”

The Frenchman says, “I take ze poison.” The chief gives him some poison, the Frenchman says, “Vive la France!” and drinks it down.

The Englishman says, “A pistol for me, please.” The chief gives him a pistol, he points it at his head, says, “God save the queen!” and blows his brains out.

The New Yorker says, “Gimme a fork.” The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The New Yorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over — the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere.

There’s blood gushing out all over, it’s horrible. The chief is appalled, and screams, “What are you doing???”

The New Yorker looks at the chief and says, “So much for your canoe, asshole!”

This is no hoax and is reported by Reuters. The mayor of a village in southwest France has threatened residents with severe punishment if they decide to die! Why? Because there is no room left in the cemetery of course!

In a policy posted in the council offices, Mayor Gerard Lalanne warned the 260 residents of the village of Sarpourenx that “all persons not having a plot in the cemetery and wishing to be buried in Sarpourenx are forbidden from dying in the parish.”

It added: “Offenders will be severely punished.”

The mayor said he was forced to take such drastic action after an administrative court in the nearby town of Pau ruled in January that the acquisition of adjoining private land to extend the cemetery would not be justified.

Lalanne, who celebrated his 70th birthday on Wednesday and is standing for election to a seventh term in this month’s local elections, said he was sorry that there had not been a positive outcome to the dilemma.

“It may be a laughing matter for some, but not for me,” he said. I don’t even know what I should say about this report. Perhaps I will think of something when I stop laughing…