You have all been at the airport and your flight has been delayed, canceled, or you have been denied entry for being blitzed off your ass. Well if so you know that the airport i also the most comfortable place in the world to catch some shut eye. Looks at the well rested people.
Raising children in the day and age is not easy. You have to compete with 16 year old pop stars working a stripper pole, nude picture scandals, drugs in grammar school, and a whole lot more. The best way to prepare kids for this is to get them drinking as soon as possible so they are never the first to pass out at a party. You don’t want to see your kid with half a head shaved, no eyebrows, and colored in with a green Sharpie. Drink Young Party Long!
This was part of a commercial or print ad and they basically filled a city block with foam. Note sure what they were trying to sell, but whatever it is I wouldn’t buy it. Obviously it grows out of control and tries to take over your home.
I just took a cold beer out of the fridge and was thinking what would make it easier would be to have a cup holder on my desk. That way I educe the chance of spillage and I don’t get any condensation on my papers. After that I thought what would be even better would be to have a hot girl in a bikini with nice boobs to hold my beer for me. I would have a beer, the game on, a hottie, and a boob cup holder — doesn’t get much better than that!
Just because some stores are willing to put certain clothing items on the shelves doesn’t mean you are obligated to buy anything. If you do happen to get suckered into a purchase for the love of God you don’t have to wear it!
Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”
“No,” said his mom, “of course not.”
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay, we can play that game again!”
In case you missed the extended ending of the first Joe Buck Show on HBO you have to watch this. Artie Lange, from The Howard Stern Show, stole the spotlight during the extended Internet ending of the show last night.
There is nothing like watching an elite athlete doing what they do best. Of course during those times of intense focus and top notch competition they aren’t all that concerned about how they look. Lucky for us that is why we have still photography in order for us to laugh at people with more talent than us.
A new shift manager was being shown around the Latex factory where he was just hired. The plant manufactures various latex products, and has a reputation for using cutting edge technology in their manufacturing process.
On one side of the building, the factory makes baby bottle nipples. The machine makes a loud “hiss-pop” noise, and the shift manager asks his tour guide what it’s doing. “As the rubber is being injected into the mold, it makes a hiss noise.” he says “The popping sound is from needle poking a hole in the end of the nipple.”
On the other side of the building, the two men look at the condom making machine. This machine makes a “hiss.. hiss… hiss-pop” sound during the manufacturing process. “Wait a second,” the future shift manager says, “I know what the hiss, hiss is… but what’s with the ‘pop’ noise every once in a while?”
“Oh, that hehe. It’s the same as the baby bottle nipple process.” says the guide… “It pokes a hole in every third condom.”
“But that can’t be good for the condoms!” the observant shift manager replied.
“Nah, but it’s really good for the baby bottle nipple business!”
I grew up in the 80’s and was a fan of KISS because my friends older brother said they were cool so that meant we had to think they were cool also. As the 80’s moved on the great rise of the hair bands took over and they brought us some of the greatest album covers ever! You can’t forget Motley Crue, Scorpion, Great White, Bon Jovi, Ratt, Warrant, Twisted Sister, and so much more. You won’t admit it now, but if on of their songs stars playing on the radio you can’t help but drum along. Hell the cut the cake song at my wedding was Pour Some Sugar On Me…selected by my wife by the way.
A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over he says, “Sir, I couldn’t help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?”
The man gets really indignant and says, “Officer, I couldn’t help but notice your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?”
Now I am not one to poke fun…who the hell am I trying to kid I love to mess with people and these kids deserve it! When you decide to pick out a dress or a tux for your high school prom most go to a store to check out the latest fashion trends and styles. Not these kids! These girls watch the classic film The Player’s Club for inspiration because we all know a movie about a black strip club is the first stop for all things high school fashion. Another important thing to note is that bringing a big wad of cash to make it rain during the closing dance is also critical to make the prom experience truly amazing or all.
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