The couple were 85 years old and had been married for sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies.

Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife’s insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade. One day, their good health didn’t help when they went on a rare vacation and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven.

They reached the pearly gates, and St.. Peter escorted them inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath. A maid could be seen hanging their favourite clothes in the closet.
They gasped in astonishment when he said, ‘Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now.’

The old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. ‘Why, nothing,’ Peter replied, ‘remember, this is your reward in Heaven.’
The old man looked out the window and right there he saw a championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever built on Earth..’What are the greens fees?,’ grumbled the old man.
‘This is heaven,’ St. Peter replied. ‘You can play for free, every day.’

Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to steaks to exotic deserts, free flowing beverages.
‘Don’t even ask,’ said St. Peter to the man. This is Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy.’
The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his wife. ‘Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods and the decaffeinated tea?,’ he asked. That’s the best part,’ St. Peter replied. ‘You can eat and drink as much as you like of whatever you like and you will never get fat or sick.
This is Heaven!’

The old man pushed, ‘No gym to work out at?’
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Sitting behind a couple of nuns at a baseball game (with their habits partially blocking the view), three men decided to badger the nuns in an effort to get them to move.

In a very loud voice, the first guy said,

“I think I’m going to move to Utah, there are only 100 nuns living there.”

The second guy spoke up and said,

“I want to go to Montana, there are only 50 nuns living there.”

The third guy said,

“I want to go to Idaho, there are only 25 nuns living there.”

One of the nuns turned around, looked at the men, and in a very sweet calm voice said,

“Why don’t you go to Hell …There aren’t any Nuns living there.”

It is hard to find a place of peace and beauty that is not corrupted by people. I would love to just sit and relax in these untainted oasis if I ever get the chance. But the irony is, then it would no longer be untainted.

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