The room was full of pregnant women and their partners, and the Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan. The teacher then announced, “Ladies, exercise is good for you. [...]

A father came home from a long business trip to find his son riding a new 21 speed mountain bike. “Where did you get the money for the bike? It must have cost $300,” he asked. “Easy, Dad,” little Johnny replied. “I earned it hiking.” “Come on Johnny,” the father said. “Tell me the truth.” [...]

Sam and Becky are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. Sam says to Becky, “Becky, I was wondering – have you ever cheated on me?” Becky replies, “Oh Sam, why would you ask such a question now? You don’t want to ask that question…” “Yes, Becky, I really want to know. Please…” “Well, all right. Yes, [...]

Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away. “Where do you live?” asked the operator. Bubba replied, “At the end of Eucalyptus Drive.” The operator asked, “Can you spell that for me?” There was a long pause and finally Bubba said, “How [...]

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right at the fifty yard line. It was exciting too, a real nail biter. After the game, he asked her if she had a good time. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the [...]

A local Goodwill office realized that their organization had never received a donation from the town’s most successful lawyer. The manager in charge of financial contributions telephoned the lawyer in an attempt to persuade him to contribute. “Sir, our research shows that while you make an annual income of over $500,000 you haven’t donated anything [...]

A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms. “Now, class. Observe closely the worms,” said the professor first putting a worm into the water. The worm in [...]

A blonde goes to the Western Union office and says, “I just have to get an urgent message to my mother in Europe.” The clerk says it will be $100, and she replies “But I don’t have that much money, and I must get a message to her, it’s urgent! I’ll do anything to get [...]

This is a true story. Last week was my 40th birthday and I really didn’t feel like waking up that morning. I managed to pull myself together and go downstairs for breakfast, hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, “Happy Birthday!”, and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, she [...]

A man is sitting at a bar one night, wearing a fancy new watch, covered with buttons and lights and dials. The woman next to him says, “Wow, that’s a really fancy watch.” Thanks, says the guy, “It’s the cutting edge of technology. I can telepathically ask this watch anything I want to know, and [...]

A new, special kind of store just opened up in a Manhattan shopping center. This store sells husbands, yes that’s right – women can browse men from floors of choices. Actually, there are 6 floors of men, and with an increase in the floor level bringing an positive attributes… a nifty setup – with a [...]

Little Johnny goes back to school on Monday and the teacher asks the kids if there was anything exciting that happened to them over the weekend. Little Johnny is waving his hand like crazy, well the teacher knows how little Johnny is so she doesn’t want to call on him. Finally, she gives in and [...]