Small list of comics about how it all goes downhill after marriage.

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Perhaps not very realistic for the wife to reach this way, but still quite funny nonetheless…

A couple was invited to a swanky costume party. The Mrs. got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone.

He being a devoted husband protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good time being spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went.

The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain and, as it was still early, decided to go the party.

Since her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.

She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice looking woman he could, and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there.
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There were these friends who played golf together every Saturday. One Saturday they were getting ready to tee off when a guy, by himself, asked if he could join them. The friends looked at each other and then looked at the guy and said, “Sure.”

So they teed off. About two holes into the game, the friends got curious about what the guy did for a living. So they asked him. The stranger told them he was a hitman. The friends all laughed.

The guy said, “No really, I’m a hitman. My gun is in my golf bag. I carry it everywhere. You can take a look at it if you’d like.”

So one of the friends decided to check it out. He opened the bag and, sure enough, there was a rifle with a huge scope attached it. He got all excited and said, “WOW! I bet I can see my house through here! May I look?”

The hit man replied, “Sure.”

So the guy looked for a second and said, “YEAH! I can see my house! I can even see through the windows into my bedroom. There’s my wife, naked. Isn’t she beautiful? WAIT! There’s my next-door neighbor! And he’s naked too!”
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Dave works hard at the plant, puts in a lot of overtime, and then spends most evenings bowling, playing basketball or working out at the gym. His wife, Mary, thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so, for his birthday, she takes him to a local strip club.

The doorman at the club greets them and says, “Hey, Dave, how ya doing?”

Mary is puzzled and asks if he’s been to this club before.

“Oh no,” says Dave. “He works out at the gym with me.”

When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he’d like his usual Budweiser.
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A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a Genie’s lamp. She picked it up and rubbed it, and lo-and-behold a Genie appeared. The amazed woman asked if she was going to receive the usual three wishes.

The Genie said, “Nope … due to inflation, constant downsizing, low wages in third-world countries, and fierce global competition, I can only grant you one wish. So … what’ll it be?”

The woman didn’t hesitate. She said, “I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other.”

The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed, “Gadzooks, lady! These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I’m good, but not THAT good! I don’t think it can be done. Make another wish.”
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Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, “You know, I don’t know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we’ve been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!”

His buddy looks at him and says, “Well, you’re obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands on my wife’s ass and say, ‘How about a blowjob?’ … and she’s always sound asleep.”

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a
woman may go to choose a husband.

Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store
operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!

There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper
ascends the flights.

There is, however, a catch. … You may choose any man from a particular
floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down
except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. .

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 – These men have jobs and love the Lord.

*********

The second floor sign reads:

Floor 2 – These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

*********

The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 – These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely
good looking.

“Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
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