1. Cheese
The teacher told Pepito to use the word cheese in a sentence. Pepito
Replies: ‘Maria likes me, but cheese fat.’

2. Mushroom
When all of my family get in the car, there’s not mushroom.

3. Shoulder
My fren wanted to become a citizen but she didn’t know how to read so I Shoulder.

4. Texas
My fren always Texas me when I’m not home wondering where I’m at!

5. Herpes
Me and my fren ordered pizza. I got my piece and she got herpes.

6. July
Ju told me ju were going to that store and July to me! ‘Julyer!’

7. Rectum Read the full story »

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.

The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”

There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?”

The priest in a small Irish village was very fond of the chickens he kept in the hen house out the back of the parish rectory. He had a cock rooster and about ten hens.

One Saturday night the cock rooster was missing and the priest suspected that was the time the cock fights occurred in the village. So he decided to do something about it at church the next morning.

At Mass, he asked the congregation, “Has anybody got a cock?”

All the men stood up.

“No, No,” he said, “that wasn’t what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?”

All the women stood up.

“No, No,” he said, “that wasn’t what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock that doesn’t belong to them?”
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Polish Divorce A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.

Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.

The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:

L: Have you any grounds?
P: Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.

L: No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
P: It made of concrete.

L: I don’t think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?
P: No, we have carport, and not need one.
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A virile, middle aged Italian gentlemen named Guido was relaxing at his favorite bar in Rome when he managed to attract a spectacular young blonde woman.

Things progressed to the point where he led her back to his apartment and, after some small talk, they retired to his bedroom where he rattled her senseless.

After a pleasant interlude he asked with a smile, “So, you finish?”

She paused for a second, frowned, and replied, “No.”

Surprised, Guido reached for her and the rattling resumed.

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