CHILD DISCIPLINE – A mom does what she can to correct her child’s vulgar language when he is playing. But kids will be kids.

SWEDISH ARMY AD – Don’t worry, only 2 out of 3 gets buried… literally.

AWESOME CHRISTMAS LIGHTS - It will be hard for Santa Claus to miss this house!

A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde.

They were all talking one day and the brunette says “Oh my gosh y’all I went through my daughter’s purse the other day to get some gum, and I found an ounce of weed. I cannot believe she smokes weed”

They comfort her, and the redhead says “Yeah, well I found a fake I. D. In my daughter’s purse. I cannot believe she has one”. So they all comfort her.

Then the blonde says “That’s nothing. I found a condom in my daughter’s purse. I just cannot believe she has a penis”

I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.
Why? My daughter asked. ‘Because it’s been on the ground, you don’t know where it’s been, it’s dirty, and probably has germs,’ I replied.

At t his point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, ‘Momma, how do you know all this stuff, you are so smart. I was thinking quickly. ‘All moms know this stuff. It’s on the Mom Test. You have to know it, or they don’t let you be a Mom.’

We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new
Information.
‘Oh…I get it!’ she beamed, ‘So if you don’t pass the test you have to be the dad.’

A mother is driving a little girl to her friend’s house for a play date.
“Mommy,” the little girl asks, “how old are you?”

“Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age,” the mother replied.

“It’s not polite.”

“OK”, the little girl says, “How much do you weigh?”

“Now really,” the mother says, “those are personal questions and are really none of your business.”

Undaunted, the little girl asks, “Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?”
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