AN AMERICAN REPUBLICAN:

You have two cows.

Your neighbor has none.

So what?

AN AMERICAN DEMOCRAT:

You have two cows.

Your neighbor has none.

You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.

A COMMUNIST:

You have two cows.

The government seizes both and provides you with milk.

A FASCIST:

You have two cows.

The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.

DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE:

You have two cows.

The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE:

You have two cows.

You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows.

You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION:
Read the full story »

A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal. Feeling somewhat hungry, he walked in, sat down

And looked over the menu…

Raw Tourist: $5.00
Broiled Missionary: $10.00
Fried Explorer: $15.00
Baked Liberal or Grilled Conservative $100.00

The guy called his Friend over and asked, ‘Why such A huge price difference for the politicians?’

The cook replied, “Have you ever tried to clean one?” “They’re so full of shit, it takes all morning.”

One day in the future, George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him.

“I don’t know what to do,” says the devil. “You are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I’ll tell you what I’m going to do. I’ve got some folks here who weren’t quite as bad as you. I’ll let one of them go, but you have to take their place.

I’ll even let YOU decide who leaves.” Bush thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the first room.

In it was Ronald Reagan and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed. Over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell. “No, George said. “I don’t think so. I’m not a good swimmer and I don’t think I could do that all day long.”
Read the full story »

HOW MAN AND WOMAN SHOWER – Funny clip about the differences in the showering patterns of guys and girls. True?

OBAMA VS. MCCAIN T-SHIRT SHOWDOWN – 2 ardent supporters of opposite parties meet in the lift. The natural thing happens but the final message is great.

EASY BUT IMPRESSIVE ILLUSION – See how you can make a straw pass through a closed safety pin and impress your friends.

A British doctor, a German doctor and an American doctor were chatting.

The British doctor said, “Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man put it in another and have him looking for work in six weeks.”

Then the German doctor bragged, “That’s nothing, we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another and have him looking for work in four weeks.”

The American doctor, not to be outdone, says, “You guys are way behind. We took a man with no brain out of Texas, put him in the White House, and almost immediately afterwards half the country was looking for work.”

David O’Keefe’s sculpture caricatures of famous politicians.

Read the full story »

If you think that all politicians are boring, you are completely wrong!

Read the full story »