A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.

The next week the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5.00 A.M. for an early flight to Sydney.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper, “Please wake me at 5.00 A.M.”.

The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9.00 A.M., and that he had missed his flight.

Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn’t woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed….

It said… “It’s 5.00 A.M., wake up!”

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.

I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, ‘Unbutton your shirt’.

So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, ‘That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me’ and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, ‘You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too’.

And then the fight started…

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My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
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