These are apparently what SOME job applicants had put on their resume. Do this if you wish NOT to waste your time with an interview.

“Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets.”

“Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.”

“My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable.”

“Education: Curses in liberal arts, curses in computer science, curses in accounting.”

“Personal: Married, 1992 Chevrolet.”
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