Typical macho man married a typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules: “I’ll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want-and I don’t expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won’t be home for dinner. I’ll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don’t you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?”

His new bride said, “No, that’s fine with me. Just understand that sex starts only at seven o’clock, not any later.”

Legend has it that a bright young student at Cambridge University had unusual request. During an examination one day he popped up and asked the proctor to bring him Cakes and Ale. The following dialog ensued:

Proctor:
I beg your pardon?
Student:
Sir, I request that you bring me Cakes and Ale.
Proctor:
Sorry, no.
Student:
Sir, I really must insist. I request and require that you bring me Cakes and Ale.

At this point, the student produced a copy of the four hundred year old Laws of Cambridge, written in Latin and still nominally in effect, and pointed to the section which read (rough translation from the Latin): “Gentlemen sitting examinations may request and require Cakes and Ale”.

Pepsi and hamburgers were judged the modern equivalent, and the student sat there, writing his examination and happily slurping away.

Three weeks later Read the full story »

Tips on when it’s safe to go all in and when it’s best to fold. By Lena Katz.

Love is a many-splendored thing. A song your heart sings. And, rosy Hallmark-card clichés aside, it’s a total gamble.

You don’t ever know how it’s going to turn out: You could win your heart’s desire, or wind up broke, alone and kicking yourself for playing in the first place.

If love is a gamble, then it follows that dating is a game. It requires lots of skills, it has a million nuances and the stakes can get sky-high. You play with your head as well as your heart. Come to think of it, it’s a lot like high-stakes poker. And many of the rules of poker can apply.

With input from a couple of female poker pros, we’ve compiled some ground rules to keep in mind when you’re across the table from the next potential Ms. Right.
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1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.

2. If it’s really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it’s going. That helps. Or even better, hover behind me, advising me at every keystroke.

3. Always leave without telling anyone where you’re going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.

4. If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books, or supplies, don’t open the door for me. I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic and opening doors with no arms is good training in case I should ever be injured and lose all use of my limbs.

5. If you give me more than one job to do, don’t tell me which is the priority. I am psychic.
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Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them.

Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don’t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose his compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

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Another good article by menshealth to share with everyone here. Which ones HAVN’T you violated?

1. Never ask a woman if she wants to have sex by asking her if she wants to have sex.

2. It is more important to have good health insurance than good health.

3. Don’t bluff more than once in a poker game with friends.

4. When one of the big bosses at work unexpectedly says something really cheery and friendly to you, he means absolutely nothing by it. Not even if he’s your father.

5. Wear as much black as you can. It makes you look slimmer and cooler. But avoid black jeans.

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