‘You know, stop lights don’t come any redder than the one you just went through.’ ‘Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They stretch after awhile.’ ‘If you take your hands off the car, I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.’ ‘If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.’ ‘Can you run [...]

1. “Michael Jackson’s album was only called Bad because there wasn’t enough room on the sleeve for Pathetic.” —Prince 2. “He looks like a dwarf who’s been dipped in a bucket of pubic hair.” —Boy George, on Prince 3. “He couldn’t ad-lib a fart after a baked-bean dinner.” —Johnny Carson, on Chevy Chase 4. “All [...]