This is another fantasy that every guy is sure to have occasionally, a naughty hot babe dressed in kinky and slutty school uniform. Any of them look like some of these?

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These are apparently real excuse notes written by parents for the teachers. Is it any wonder that our kids seem to be doing worse than the kids from Asia?

* My son is under a doctor’s care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.

* Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

* Dear School: Please excuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29,30, 31, 32, and also 33.

* Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

* Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

* John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

* Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

* Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

* Chris will not be in school cus he has an Read the full story »

While some sources claim that these are based on real comments given by teachers, I find it hard to believe that teachers will actual say such mean things. Funny, but mean. Anyway, they can also be quite useful for anyone who wishes to tell another person just how stupid they are, but in a wonderfully creative way.

1. Since my last report, your child has hit rock bottom and has started to dig.

2. I would not allow this student to breed.

3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.

4. Your child is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

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The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day.

When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time. She was reluctant to call upon little Johnnie, knowing that he sometimes could be a bit crude. But eventually his turn came.

Little Johnnie walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down.

Well the teacher couldn’t figure out what Johnnie had in mind for his report, so she asked him just what that was.

“It’s a period,” reported Johnnie.

“Well I can see that,” she said, “But what is so exciting about a period.”

“Damned if I know,” said Johnnie, “But this morning my sister said she missed one.

Then Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted and the man next door shot himself.”

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class.

One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, “Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?”

When Mary didn’t stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.

“God Almighty !” shouted Mary.

The teacher said, “Very good!” and Mary fell back to sleep.

A while later the teacher asked Mary, “Who is our Lord and Savior?”, but Mary didn’t even stir from her slumber.

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