You can achieve a “runners high” by sitting up.

The sun is too loud.

You are missing several days from this week.

Trees begin to chase you.

You can see individual air molecules vibrating.

You wonder if brewing is *really* a necessary step for the consumption of coffee.

You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you’ve said it before.

You can hear mimes.
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ULTIMATE STRESS SOLUTION -- You won’t need any other stress medication once you learn this.

STRIPPER DODGEBALL -- No prizes for guessing the rules of this game!

FOOTBALL FUNNIES -- Nice compilation of hilarious things that happen on the field.

During his first three-month evaluation, a rookie cop mentioned to the chief of police that the stress of the job was really starting to wear him down.

The chief told the young policeman that whenever he was feeling too tense, he’d go home and screw his wife for about an hour, which always made him feel better and enabled him to return to work with a much better outlook.

The rookie considered this piece of wisdom and said it sounded like good advice; he’d give it a try and see if it helped.

The next week the chief called the kid in and asked how things were going.

The new cop replied that, in fact, just that morning had experienced extreme stress and had followed his boss’s suggestion, with great success. He felt great.

After being dismissed by his pleased superior, the rookie abruptly halted at the door and said, “Oh, Chief, I almost forgot. Your wife asked me to tell you to pick up some lamb chops for dinner.”

Rough day ahead? Or already had one? Some interesting stress management techniques that are recommended by psychologists…. that might actually work!

1. Picture yourself near a stream.

2. Birds are softly chirping in the cool mountain air.

3. No one but you knows your secret place.

4. You are in total seclusion from the hectic place called “the world.”

5. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.

6. The water is crystal clear

7. You can easily make out the face of the politician you’re holding underwater.

8. See, you’re smiling already.