An English teacher reminds her students of the written test in her class tomorrow:

“Now, I don’t want anyone to miss this important finals exam! I will not tolerate any excuse whatsoever for your absence–unless of course you had to go to the hospital because of a serious injury, or someone died in your immediate family.”

Just after she spoke, a wise ass in the back of the class exclaims: “Well, what if I were to tell you that I didn’t show up for the test because I experienced complete and utter sexual exhaustion?”

The students in the class try to suppress their snickers and muffled laughter.

The teacher looks sympathetically towards the young man, smiles slyly and states: “Well, then…you’ll have to write with your other hand”.

The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day.

When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time. She was reluctant to call upon little Johnnie, knowing that he sometimes could be a bit crude. But eventually his turn came.

Little Johnnie walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down.

Well the teacher couldn’t figure out what Johnnie had in mind for his report, so she asked him just what that was.

“It’s a period,” reported Johnnie.

“Well I can see that,” she said, “But what is so exciting about a period.”

“Damned if I know,” said Johnnie, “But this morning my sister said she missed one.

Then Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted and the man next door shot himself.”

Nicky Fleites is one hot NASCAR gal. She is a student at Florida State University (brains & body?) and lives in Miami, Florida. Her favorite NASCAR track is Daytona and she enjoys beach volleyball (wouldn’t you love to see her in action?) and poker. Worst pickup line ever used on her?

“If I gave you the key to my heart, would you promise not to break it?”

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