The Washington Post publishes a yearly contest in which readers are asked to invent alternate meanings for various words. The following were some of this year’s winning entries: 1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon. 2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have . 3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all [...]

Words defined more accurately than Websters.

The next time the shit hits the fan, remembering some of these eternal words of wisdom will help you tolerate the stench a little better. 1) Indecision is the key to flexibility. 2) You cannot tell which way the train went by looking at the track. 3) There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine [...]

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! [...]